All by myself...

Life's so fragile.. one instant you are here and the next one you're gone. Guess that's the way life goes, even though we might think it's not fair. It also brings me to the point where I can no longer remain motionless nor can I allow myself to keep running away from things I need. Does the "L" word bring things to your mind... no the other "L" word! I'm talking about Love. I've realised lately that I'm in a great need of it. I feel a loneliness that breaks my spirit, that makes my soul cold and my heart ache. Maybe I'm blind, ok, I meant, love blind.. Maybe I just need to let the love of anyone arrive or maybe I should learn that you can't have everything perfect, specially when it's love we are talking about... maybe I just need to let it flow. Maybe the greatness of love is to remain in spite of the mistakes made, or the pain.. Maybe the one I need is closer than I thought.. maybe... just maybe I might learn to be happy.

Guess it takes a lot of time to understand that we can be be happy with someone that might not be prince charming, but to them we might actually be the best thing in this world. Who know's maybe I've met that someone already and still don't want to accept it.

Anyway I wrote a letter to "him". This is how it goes:

To the man who will be "THE ONE".. (September 6, 2006)

Till the day that I stop breathing I will think about you.. but even so, I will still be loving you.

If the sun stopped shining my light will be your eyes and if you closed them your heartbeat will become my guide.

You can't imagine how much I searched for you. How I lost hope so many times. I thought you didn't exist. I don't know if I already met you or if I'll ever do. But if you are him, I just want you to know: I was waiting for you.

to that and for the first time in this blog... there is also a letter in spanish that I wish to add here:

Carta sin dueño:

¡Hola! Sólo queria saludar. No sé si ya nos conocemos o si te conoceré algún día. No sé si te he visto en algún sitio o si vives en algún lugar al que nunca llegaré. No estoy segura si sólo eres un sueño o si enverdad existes; sólo se que de todo lo que he conseguido en mi vida, mi carrera, mi independencia, mi vida social, de todo lo que anhelo tener, TU eres lo que más complicado se me hace alcanzar. TU eres lo que dudo más en poder llegar a tener. Si algún día llegas a estar cerca y, así como yo, me has buscado, te diré sólo dos cosas: acércate que quiero conocerte y no dudes nunca que te había estado esperando.

Ojalá existas.

Those might be childish letters to some people but to me they are the deepest longing of my life.

" Hard to be sure, sometimes I feel so insecure and love so distant and obscure... All by myself, don't want to be.. all by myself.. anymore.. "