Never Enough

 Well, I thought this place had disappeared. To my surprise, here it is. Keeping all my memories alive, as well as my scars. 

It's been years since my last post, I got married 9 years ago. The ONE had arrived. I'm still married, but so many things have happened. 

I'm hurt again, and it's deeper every time, harder to get over it and to forgive. This time, there is someone who simply makes things harder for both of us... his mother.  We don't like each other, but she keeps getting on me and I'm no quitter, if the fight comes to me, I'll fight. The hard part is my husband taking sides, hers.  

We've hurt each other so much, and to be honest, I really don't feel like we should be together anymore. 

I have a beautiful son that keeps me going, but I think we could be wonderful for him, just no together... at least not any more. My heart breaks to think of my son asking for his father but the damage between us (his father and I) is severe and repetitive. 

We had a deal, he knew it would be our last chance, and he blew it blinded by his mother's and his thirst of revenge (he has issues with my dad), he didn't stop to think that his actions upon my family could hurt me, he was just proud to be congratulated by that lady. So that sends a message that he never thought of me, and I don't want a man that doesn't give a thought of what I could feel before acting. 

His priorities are now known.  So waiting here in my COVID isolation, just gets me emotional and wanting to get this over with. 

"These hands could hold the word but it'll never be enough... for me "