Disappointment

And all of the sudden you realize you were expecting another reaction... I hope I'm wrong, but lets be realistic, the chances of being loyal to somebody when the distance between you is 1500 km... really sucks! Unless you are the type of loyal loser that believes in love and loyalty to that person no matter what... then again, I feel worse, 'cause I'm that type of loser... I believe in love above all... Maybe I shouldn't be so cruel with myself, but the fact is that in that place so far away (1500 km from here) you can have any man or woman you want... and to be honest, not having a lot of news from you makes me thinks that maybe you don't want me to have any news... that is not too bad, the bad part is to have to think why you don't want me to have news... I'm paranoid again... so what!! I can be as paranoid as I want, because it's me who is in pain right now... it's me the one that wishes, needs to hear from you that nothing has changed... it's me who needs to believe you when you say so... it's me who fell in love with you.

Don't you hate it when you get in this situation? When you thought you could handle having a wonderful relationship without a true commitment? When you realize you are in front of the man or woman of your life, but he or she... is not ready for you yet?

In the other hand maybe all this mess is just it... a mess only existing in my head and I'm judging you as badly as always... my insecurity again is making me think what i shouldn't... (sigh)